My Speech Disorder

 I can truly say I had a happy childhood, most of the time, but I had a speech disorder. I stuttered. It was really bad. As a child, I was teased and jeered at. The sound a goat makes is as though it is stuttering, so I was called "stammer goat." Children can be cruel at times.

There were occasions, in conversations with my playmates, that I would try to get the words out and was so frustrated that it was not happening. The people around me would get impatient because I am not talking fast enough. Seeing the look on their faces, I would feel embarrassed, and as a result, I would stop talking. There were other times I would try to talk as fast as my friends were doing and my words would get jumbled. In doing so, my friends could not understand what I was saying and would ask me to repeat what I just said. Imagine that. Here I am trying to talk, and cannot get the words out. They know I stuttered badly and yet I'm being asked to repeat what I just said. Do you know how annoying that is? Just think about that for a moment. People just do not understand the problem we have with that disorder.

Click Here

There are those who suggested remedies for my stuttering. Someone said that I should drink water from a calabash and that would stop the stuttering. Hmm. I never tried it because I did not believe that would work anyway.

My youngest brother would tease me at times but one day he went a little too far; and what happened after made him think twice about doing that to me again. We were on the veranda talking and then I started to stutter. He began jeering at me. I walked away and he was following me while continuing the jeering. I got angry, picked up a stone, and aimed it at his head. He ducked in time to save his head from connecting with the stone. He immediately stopped jeering at me and never did it again. I realized that it is dangerous to tease a person who is stuttering. A person can get hurt.

My dear mother heard my garbled speech one day and told me to take my time when speaking, no matter what. I must take deep breaths and speak slowly.  I know my mother meant well but I was thinking that everyone else doesn't have to do that. Then again, I am the one that has the problem. But as a child, it was not easy for me.

One day at my church, I was asked to recite a poem. I was determined to do it in spite of my disorder. I started, and the children at the front were looking at me and giggling, but I would not give up. In my mind, I was encouraging myself and I was saying "I don't care what you guys are doing to me but I will say this poem." I remembered the advice my mother gave me and took a deep breath and spoke slowly. Hooray, I got through it and was mighty pleased with myself. I have been following that advice ever since. There are times when I am nervous and impatient and I fall back in that old habit but I would remember that advice of taking deep breaths and speaking slowly. It's amazing though, that when I sing I do not stutter. I'm wondering if it is because I have to take deep breaths when doing that activity!

As an adult, I do not stutter as much, thanks be to God. On occasions I am called to speak before the congregation at church or any other group of people and I will always write at the top of my notes "Speak slowly."  It works for me because life is like that. I will encourage anyone, who has a similar problem, to not be discouraged. If I can overcome it, you can too. I know each one is different, but who knows if you speak slowly and take a deep breath, you too can be on your way to speaking without stuttering.

Click Here