Faults and Forgiveness

 

My mother was an excellent cook. She taught all of her children the culinary arts as she knew back then. During those times, some folks had the opinion that only girls should be taught how to cook. Not my mother. She was a forward thinker and as a result, my brothers profited from her wisdom.

Since there were five girls, we were allowed to take turns each Sunday to prepare meals for the family. One of us would prepare breakfast, the other lunch, and so on. There was a rule that only the person who is preparing meals for that particular time should be in the kitchen. This is to prevent arguments. In spite of this rule, there is always someone who wants to have their own way which can create problems.

One Sunday morning, it was my turn to prepare breakfast. I was ten years old.  I was making a roast bake ( a flatbread). One of my older sisters (they're all older than me anyway, since I'm the youngest child), came into the kitchen. She should not have been there. I was flattening the dough to place it in the pot, but instead, she put something else in there. When I turned and saw what was in the pot, I took it out and told her to get out of the kitchen. She insisted on annoying me by placing the object back in the pot. That's when I punched her on the nose which started to bleed. Dearest mother was called and I was reprimanded all because her nose bled. I was upset and did not speak to her for that week.

As Seventh-day Adventist Christians, we welcome the Sabbath each Friday evening by worshipping and giving thanks to God. We praise our Creator God, read the bible, and pray. We believe the Sabbath is 24 hours from sunset Friday evening to sunset Saturday evening. On this occasion, it was our custom before we started singing and giving thanks, to ask forgiveness of each other for anything that we have done to one another. During the week my mother did not know that this particular sister and I were not speaking to each other. Well, I know I was not speaking to her, I did not know if she wanted to speak to me and at that time, I didn't really care. My oldest sister, knowing the situation, spoke up at the time of worship. Mother was not pleased. She did not want us to have any conflict in the home, especially going so far as not speaking to each other as sisters. She then told me to ask my sister for forgiveness. Now I was not pleased.

There is a disadvantage in being the youngest. You are told by everyone else what you should do. You are picked on constantly. You are called "the baby" and even though you are in the right you are still wrong. I was already reprimanded for punching my sister on the nose, which I thought she deserved, for not staying out of the kitchen. But because there was spilled blood, I should ask her to forgive me. I'm thinking that this is not right, so I said nothing. Mother was not the kind of parent to argue with her children. No, No. She was the one in charge. She once again told me to ask for forgiveness from this sister. That's all she was saying, nothing else.  I said, "If I should ask for forgiveness but did not mean it in my heart, what then." My mother once again repeated the statement. I was adamant. Here I am, the youngest, holding up worship. We could not start until all wrongs were made right. Finally, I gave in and in a small voice ask for forgiveness. My sister, with a smirk on her face, said "I forgive you." Somehow after she said that, I wanted to punch her again but I did not. When the singing started, it was a joyous occasion and all was peace and happiness once again. Music does that, you know.

                                   

                

Sometimes discord may arise in families and if we have the right approach it will stay in hand. We are all different, even though we may be brothers and sisters. Each of us has our own personality but when we come together, supporting one another, we realize that when all else fails, your family is always there for you, because life is like that.

 

Stealing From the Blind

On the hill where I grew up, there was always something going on. With five girls and four boys, there were times when we can annoy each other or get into some trouble of one kind or the other. There were fruit trees of all kinds around the house such as mango, coconut, custard apple, papaya,  guava, and cashew. Away from the house on other properties, we will get other fruits such as breadnut(chataigne), passion fruit, soursop, red and yellow cherries, pomerac, plums, sapodilla, and a host of other fruits that we consume all year round.

Now the breadnut is an oblong shape, green fruit with white nuts inside covered by brown shells, surrounded by white pulp. The shells are only brown when the breadnut is ripe. The white nuts or seeds are boiled in salted water for quite some time and it is very delicious when eaten.

One day, two of my sisters got this breadnut fruit and after cleaning it decided to cook the breadnut on an open fire. They placed the breadnut in a large can with a lid on the fire and left it for a while.

It was not long after that the youngest of my brothers came along.  Not knowing what was in the can on the open fire, he was curious to see what was inside. I told him he should not open it but he was determined to have his way. Upon opening the can, instead of moving away from the steam that arose out of the can, his face was directly over it and the hot steam hit him full in the face. He screamed. Our mother was in the house at the time and ran out to see what was wrong. My brother was crying and saying that he could not see. The sudden hot steam in his eyes affected him and as a result, he was blinded for three days.

During the period of my brother's blindness, the two of us always played together. We were close in age (he is two years older than me). At lunchtime, our mother will allow us to be at the table and will let him know where the food is on his plate. We will eat together and I will encourage him, all the while chatting about different things because the older siblings were not around at that time.

On the second day, our mother made a dish that was a favorite of mine, dumplings with codfish. As I said in an earlier article, my mother was an excellent cook, and the way she will prepare those meals will encourage us to ask for more. The food was so good. Seeing that my brother was blind, I decided to take one of his dumplings. Imagine that, instead of assisting him in eating, I decided to steal from him. When I was reaching for one of his dumplings, instead of looking at the plate, my focus was on his face. In so doing my hand touched his and he called out to our mother, telling her that I was taking his food. I could not believe that I made such a silly mistake. That was like "taking candy from a baby", but in this case the "baby" caught me. Mother scolded me for doing such an awful thing as stealing from my blind brother.

The following day my brother said he could see something, and it was not long after, that his sight was fully recovered. I realize in our lifetime we experience different situations and it all depends on how we deal with them. My mother was not worried because as the adult in the home, she knew that that blindness would not last long. We, as children, thought differently, believing that my brother's blindness would last forever. We do not know what the future holds, and there are times that we assume the worse in certain situations. On the other hand, if we look at things positively we will be surprised at the outcome because life is like that.

 

Slithering Intruders

 

Growing up in the islands, we raised a few goats and sheep, and chickens as many of our neighbors did. Others had other livestock such as cows, donkeys, and other animals. Living in the tropics one would encounter different insects and reptiles such as iguanas, manicou, and others.  In addition, we enjoy the intermittent crow of the rooster and the beautiful birds that fly overhead and bees and butterflies that flitter from flower to flower.

 One evening my mother and most of my brothers and sisters went to a function. I cannot remember why my youngest brother and I did not go to that event, but we were home alone. As night was drawing near, I asked my brother if he can sleep next to me until the rest of the family returned. He agreed, and while we were sleeping,  a snake crawled into the house, onto the bed we were sleeping in and lay between us.

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Apparently, the snake might have been cold and looking for some warmth. When my mother returned she quietly woke us up not wanting to disturb the intruder. She in turn did not want to kill the snake laying between us, since in doing so one of us might get hurt. In trying to get us away from that reptile, it was disturbed and went quickly on its way without hurting any one of us. We can quote the text of scripture Psalms 34:7 which says " The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him and rescue them."

My oldest brother's first child, a daughter, practically grew up with us. I have to say she was fearless. She was smart, love to read, and very observant. She never allowed anything to prevent her from doing what she wanted to do. I hardly ever saw her get flustered about anything.

One evening we were all sitting in the living room, chatting about different things but my niece was at the corner of the couch reading a book. After a while, she went to use the bathroom, after all that's a normal thing to do. The thing is, when she came back out, she told us, quite calmly, that there was a snake in the bathroom and she proceeded to sit down and continue reading her book.  Since she said it in such a calm manner. no one believed her. One of my curious sisters went to verify what my niece said. There was a huge difference in my sister's reaction compared to my niece's. My sister screamed hysterically that the snake was coiled around the bottom of the toilet bowl. My niece looked up from her reading and wondered why that type of behavior. We believed all that screaming scared the snake off and it went on its merry way.

We had fruit trees growing around the house. One such fruit was the custard apple. A couple of the branches of this tree were touching the bedroom window and it was the intention of one of my brothers to cut off those branches. Before that was done, though, we had another encounter with those intruders that were mentioned before. My niece was in that bedroom reading a book on the lower section of the double-decker bed. The window was opened. ( We had hanging windows). The branch of that custard apple tree was practically on the inside of the window. While reading, my niece felt something touch her and she brushed it off, thinking it was a leaf from the tree, and continued reading. She felt it again and turned and saw that it was a snake. She got up and told the rest of us about it. I went to that bedroom and saw it crawled away. My brother immediately cut off the branches of the tree that were touching the house. We give thanks that there are no venomous snakes in Tobago.

 I admired the personality of my niece, she had a gentle, unassuming manner. She did not speak a lot and this just shows how different we all are and how we react in certain situations. Even though we grew up in the same home our personalities are not all the same because life is just like that.

My Speech Disorder

 I can truly say I had a happy childhood, most of the time, but I had a speech disorder. I stuttered. It was really bad. As a child, I was teased and jeered at. The sound a goat makes is as though it is stuttering, so I was called "stammer goat." Children can be cruel at times.

There were occasions, in conversations with my playmates, that I would try to get the words out and was so frustrated that it was not happening. The people around me would get impatient because I am not talking fast enough. Seeing the look on their faces, I would feel embarrassed, and as a result, I would stop talking. There were other times I would try to talk as fast as my friends were doing and my words would get jumbled. In doing so, my friends could not understand what I was saying and would ask me to repeat what I just said. Imagine that. Here I am trying to talk, and cannot get the words out. They know I stuttered badly and yet I'm being asked to repeat what I just said. Do you know how annoying that is? Just think about that for a moment. People just do not understand the problem we have with that disorder.

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There are those who suggested remedies for my stuttering. Someone said that I should drink water from a calabash and that would stop the stuttering. Hmm. I never tried it because I did not believe that would work anyway.

My youngest brother would tease me at times but one day he went a little too far; and what happened after made him think twice about doing that to me again. We were on the veranda talking and then I started to stutter. He began jeering at me. I walked away and he was following me while continuing the jeering. I got angry, picked up a stone, and aimed it at his head. He ducked in time to save his head from connecting with the stone. He immediately stopped jeering at me and never did it again. I realized that it is dangerous to tease a person who is stuttering. A person can get hurt.

My dear mother heard my garbled speech one day and told me to take my time when speaking, no matter what. I must take deep breaths and speak slowly.  I know my mother meant well but I was thinking that everyone else doesn't have to do that. Then again, I am the one that has the problem. But as a child, it was not easy for me.

One day at my church, I was asked to recite a poem. I was determined to do it in spite of my disorder. I started, and the children at the front were looking at me and giggling, but I would not give up. In my mind, I was encouraging myself and I was saying "I don't care what you guys are doing to me but I will say this poem." I remembered the advice my mother gave me and took a deep breath and spoke slowly. Hooray, I got through it and was mighty pleased with myself. I have been following that advice ever since. There are times when I am nervous and impatient and I fall back in that old habit but I would remember that advice of taking deep breaths and speaking slowly. It's amazing though, that when I sing I do not stutter. I'm wondering if it is because I have to take deep breaths when doing that activity!

As an adult, I do not stutter as much, thanks be to God. On occasions I am called to speak before the congregation at church or any other group of people and I will always write at the top of my notes "Speak slowly."  It works for me because life is like that. I will encourage anyone, who has a similar problem, to not be discouraged. If I can overcome it, you can too. I know each one is different, but who knows if you speak slowly and take a deep breath, you too can be on your way to speaking without stuttering.

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Mistaken Identity

My two older brothers moved away from home in their late teens and settled in  Trinidad, the larger of the two islands of Trinidad and Tobago. A few years passed and they both got families of their own. They were living in different parts of the island of Trinidad, but there were times when they will return home to Tobago to see the rest of the family and talk of old times.

At the age of eight, my mother took me to spend part of the summer vacation in Trinidad, with my oldest brother, who is nineteen years older than me. I traveled on one of the island ferries that transported people and goods between the islands several times a day.  At that time, it took six to eight hours to get from port to port.  I believe they now have faster boats that take less time. It was not my first time traveling by ferry since I previously did that with my mother at a younger age. I am not a good sea traveler. I tend to get seasick. The journey was not a good one for me and was relieved when the boat came to port.

We started traveling from the Scarborough Wharf,  in Tobago,  at 10:30 pm and arrived at the Port of Spain docks, in Trinidad, at 4:30 the following morning. My brother was there to meet us and my mother returned on the next ferry to Tobago. My brother hired a taxi since he did not like driving, and never will. As we traveled along the winding road that leads to his home, the windows of the car were down, and I can feel the cool morning breeze on my face. I can see the early rays of the morning sun in the clear blue sky, which was a beauty to behold. It was a pleasant ride considering the past night.

After a twenty-minute drive, the taxi stopped beside the gate of a large house.  The house was enclosed by a four-foot wire fence. There were two apartments on the first floor and one of them belonged to my brother. As we entered the apartment, his wife met us at the door. I was a bit tired and since I was still feeling a bit queasy from the boat ride, I drank some tea and decided to take a rest. After such an awful night on the ferry, I slept for about two hours, which refreshed me.

Later in the day, I realized there were other children around my age that were living in the same compound. We became fast friends, and for the next two weeks, we took part in different activities. A couple of my friends were grandchildren of the owner of the house, who lived on the second floor. There were times when we would play and visit the grandmother on that floor.

One evening, during the last week of my vacation, at about eight o'clock, we were jumping on the bed in one of the bedrooms that were facing the street. As I stated earlier, this house was surrounded by a fence with a gate that was always locked. We were considered safe. There was a commotion on the outside. Some men were calling out the name of my sister-in-law's brother. He was not in the other apartment and no one at the time knew where he was. Apparently, the men at the gate were members of a gang. They came to collect the money that was owed to them. No one from the home was going out to talk to them and they could not get in. The light was on in the bedroom where I was and I innocently drew the curtain to see who was on the outside. Suddenly someone said, "Shoot the woman at the window." The person who spoke did not know it was a child at the window. At the same time, a family member came into the bedroom and switched off the lights, simultaneously a shot was fired. I dropped on the bed and shattered glass was all over me. I thank God that I was not hurt.

The following day, the police were searching the area for these gang members but without much success. They questioned the adults in the home to get some information on the happenings of the previous night. I am still determining what transpired next since I was leaving the following day to return to Tobago.

Looking back, I can truly say that I was protected by the unseen hand of God. Those gang members were angry and they just did not care who got hurt.  I believe it could have been worst and I would not have lived to tell this story because life is like that.

Lessons Learned from Confrontation with a Dog

 One beautiful sunny afternoon, my friends and I traveled to one of the beaches of Lake Ontario in Hamilton. It was seven of us, and we traveled in two separate vehicles. Three of us arrived at the planned area first and decided to take a look around before the others arrive.

In our exploration of the area, we saw the main beach. It was windy and the waves were a bit choppy. As we walked along the trail we noticed that there were a few private coves as well. We met a young lady returning from her walk. She lived in the area and she cautioned us not to walk too closely to the tall grass because of the ticks that may be lurking there.

My companions were two male friends. As we were returning I decided to take some pictures and small videos along the way. My friends knew my "agenda" and the reason why I stop so often to take photos. They will continue walking and I will have to catch up with them. Let me say this; all my friends care for each other so this does not reflect on them negatively. It's all on me.

At one of the coves, I saw three dogs and their owners. The dogs were running in and out of the water and playing with one of the owners. I decided to take a picture and make a 2-minute video of this activity. I was about 50 feet away from them. One of the dogs saw me and stared. He glanced at his owner but apparently, the owner was not aware. The dog started walking towards me and I stopped the video and walked off.

The dog walked quickly. It did not bark or growl. It did not make a sound. Suddenly it jumped up at me towards my neck. I am thankful that I am tall (5'9') so I was able to get him off but then he went to my back. All I can say was "OK OK!" A few seconds later the owner came and called him off. They did not say why he jumped at me in that way. They only apologized.

Now I am afraid of big dogs, but this one was medium in build and height. I cannot say what breed of dog it was but after showing a friend of mine a picture of the dog he said it might be a cross between a pit bull and a labrador.

Surprisingly, I was not fearful because earlier that week I encountered another dog at the house of one of my clients. My client does not have a dog but her son and his wife were visiting her and they brought their dog with them. As I entered the porch, the dog started barking and I was hesitant to go into the living room. The son's wife came to me and gave me some dog treats to give to the dog. I held out my hand with the treats and the dog ate from my hands. Thereupon we became friends. 

I learned three things from these two encounters.

1. Do not walk alone. Stay with your friends. Stay with the group. The reason is that situations may occur that being alone you may not be able to handle it. When you are with other people you can be taken care of.

2. Those who are in the group should be always aware of those who are in the group and look out for those who might have strayed. It shows togetherness, even if that person has an agenda.

3. Sometimes God prepares you for what you will encounter even if you do not know. Since my fears were calmed with the first dog earlier in the week I was not so fearful when the other dog jumped at me.

Folk Medicine

 There are certain folk medicines that has been passed on from one generation to another. When I was seven or eight years old, I had an incident that allowed me to observe one such remedy. It's not for us to judge the action or behaviour of people in those times because things were different back then. They did what they had to do for survival. On the other hand they were honest and hardworking folk and cared for their family. Neighbours shared what they have with one another and cared for each other.

We had a big yard for us to play. Some of the neighbours children came over and we decided to play hide and seek outside of the house. At that time the house was built on concrete pillars, so there was space underneath the house to play. It was a hot day and we felt the cool breeze as it circled among the pillars. There was some construction being done at the time and we were told to be careful where we walked.

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I tried hiding behind one of the pillars where there was an old barrel at the side. It looked safe but in doing so, I stepped on a rusty nail which was turned upside down on a piece of wood. My heel was punctured and thought nothing of it. I did not say anything to anyone at that time. As the day wore on, I was in some pain and could not walk on the foot. I thought it would go away after a while.

It was close to bedtime when my mother saw me limping and ask "what's wrong with my foot." I told her what happened earlier in the day with the nail and she immediately examined the spot where I was punctured. It was painful and she saw that it was infected. She acted quickly to help me because she knew that if nothing was done soon, it can possible lead to tetanus.

Now, what I am about to say should not be tried at home by anyone. Remember I am giving my life experiences.  As I said previously, this is folk medicine passed on from one generation to the next. My mother grew up with her grandmother and there are things that she learnt that helped at that time, because that's what they knew for survival. It was a different era and somehow it worked for them. I would not do what they did because times have changed. I respected my mother's efforts and loved her dearly.

My mother examined my foot, then she took a clove of garlic and pressed it. She took a piece of cotton and soaked in the kerosene oil that was in the lamp, and placed it with the garlic. All the while I am observing everything she did. The following is what caused my eyes to open really wide. Looking around she found a  cockroach which she took and cut open the belly. She then placed the garlic and the cotton with the kerosene oil on the open belly of the cockroach, and put everything on the punctured wound and bandaged it. Mother was so calm that I was not afraid. She told me I should be fine in the morning and send me off to bed.

I slept soundly without pain and believed every word my mother told me. When I awoke the following morning, there was no pain, no infection and I could have walked on that foot without a problem.

My mother loved us deeply and will do anything to help her children as any loving and caring mother would do because life is like that.

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